HIDDEN BEENFITS OF TALKING TO STRANGERS
Have you guys ever enjoyed talking to strangers. This might sound weird for you, right? But think of the brief chats you had with a fellow traveller, a kind shop owner, person who stood together in a queue for your most waited movie, rode the same adventure ride together? Have you felt a thread of emotional connection that made you united and transcended the apprehension of talking to a stranger. I am sure that many of us might be having experiences where we enjoyed chit chats with a random stranger at a bus stop or railway station when both of you were tiredly waiting for the train or bus. Such strange connections are often rooted in the very basic level of humane connection.
Interactions with new people and novel experiences widen our understanding on life. I always remember my train journeys from Calicut to Kottayam where I travelled with a cross-section of the society in the general compartment. I was surprised by their attitudes and behaviours. There I saw the raw humans who have no mask unlike the aristocratic upper class. But it took me to deeper realizations about the true nature of human instincts and behaviours. I often give this task to my clients to initiate conversations with strangers to overcome their social anxiety and to improve the interpersonal skills. The confidence obtained through give the courage to initiate conversations without any inhibitions.
Personally, when I think back, I have many beautiful memories gifted by strangers in my life. I always cherish the happy moments I got from a group of volunteers at Golden temple in Amritsar, who served langar for us and made us feel the hospitality and warmth of Punjab. The evening walks, village visits and solo cycling while studying in Punjab had given me a lifetime of memories because of the precious moments I got from random people whom I met there. I remember the tractor driver who have gifted my long-cherished wish of having a tractor drive across the mustard fields. Talks with the local chai walas, pani puri wala and ganna juice wala have taught me the tales of struggle, resilience and the growth potential of people to come up despite all the challenges life give them.
I am sure that many of you might be having experiences with a random auto wala who have helped you in an emergency without any other thought. Have you ever thought about the reassurance you got from the nurse just before an injection, consolation from a lab technician before doing the surgery or a procedure, kind bus driver who got you off at the right stop while sleeping, or a random person who helped you when you got stuck in the middle way.
We are however taught to not talk to strangers. I am not negating the possible negative consequences that could happen. It is necessary that we should keep healthy boundaries within which we interact. I get reminded of the conflict faced by D H Lawrence in his famous poem where he gets torn between his natural instinct of respect towards the snake and the sound of his education to kill it. In this modern world where we separate ourselves with visible as well as invisible walls, we often forget the depths of interconnectedness that bind the human connections. But next time when you meet a stranger, be with an open and non-judgemental heart. May be a random Hi, gentle smile, or hand wave could become your dopamine to grip yourselves when you are low and to make your day a better one.
Written By - Ms. Nimisha J Philip - Consultant psychologist (Mindmaris Counsellors India Pvt)
