Why Is My Child Struggling to Make Friends?
Human beings are social animal. Making groups, bonds, connections is something that is inside the gene of human being for survival and existence in certain environment to learn and apply what they know indirect way to get help and support especially with same age groups in order to feel acceptance, consideration, comfort and uniformity is some aspect in case of age-wise thoughts and act .This is an evolutional side
The first environment of a child is family. Family is social unit. Parents have a major impact on a child’s social development. Parental Expectations and Influence may impact. While looking for the best, many parents have high expectations on their children, trying to raise them into "perfect" individuals. In this effort, they may criticize, discourage friendships, fearing bad influences. It's valid to guide children, over-involvement can lead to emotional dependence, loss of autonomy, and fear of decision-making including who to befriend. Children need their space to make mistakes and learn from them. Strict or emotionally distant parenting can create fear, low confidence, and hesitation in children when interacting with peers. Children raised under constant judgment may internalize the belief that they aren’t good enough, making social connection harder. Children observe and mimic Parental Behavior as a Model. If parents themselves avoid friendships, or struggle socially, children may absorb the belief that friendships are temporary or unnecessary.
Another aspect is Screen Time and Reduced Real Interaction High screen exposure, often permitted by parents as entertainment or distraction, may reduce real-world socialization. Children might become more comfortable in virtual worlds than in real conversations, leaving them with underdeveloped interpersonal skills.
While analyzing what are the ways which have a contribution to struggles to make friends are School influence and Peer Environmental. A lack of support or rejection from teachers can reinforce feelings of inferiority. School should be a space where children feel encouraged, not judged. When it misses, children may avoid social interaction due to fear rejections and judgements. Some children are naturally introverted, sensitive, or anxious, which may make them hesitant to move towards new people or adapt to group settings. If these traits are not acknowledged and supported, they may grow into emotional suppression and chronic avoidance.
Without any healthy social interaction, creativity and emotional expression may also be limited. Experiences like criticism, being left out, or shamed for who they can create lasting emotional wounds. Children may then form beliefs like feeling of not good enough .leading to low self-worth and friendship avoidance. Marginalization and Bullying can impact in ability to make friends. Children who are marginalized due to appearance, culture, religion, or ability often struggle to feel accepted in peer groups. Bullying, whether subtle or overt, can seriously harm social confidence.
Another part is Children with Developmental Disorders and Psychological conditions like autism, ADHD, conduct disorders, or hypersensitivity may struggle with social cues, impulse control, or emotional regulation. These challenges can lead to withdrawal, rejection by peers, and difficulty forming connections. Professional understanding and tailored support are important.
One of the other aspect are personality and life experience. Personality is shaped by both nature and nurture. Some children may have introverted or socially anxious traits by default. Others develop insecurities through past experiences—harsh parenting, comparison with peers, or trauma. In many cases, high screen time and fear of judgment further isolate them. The child's sense of self, built through consistent feedback from adults and peers, plays a major role in their willingness to connect.
Management
This can be managed by the ways that is; Create a space where children feel safe to express without fear of being judged or corrected this helps child to open communication. Promote more real-world play and interaction this help to limit Screen Time. Role-play can help build confidence and communication this helps to build Social Skills through Play. Teach them how to recognize, name, and manage their emotions, which helps to develop Emotional Intelligence. Not all children are extroverts. Encourage them, but don't force, Respect their personality .Be a Positive Role Model, Show healthy friendships in your own life. Seek Help When Needed: If difficulties persist, consult a psychologist, counselor, or psychiatrist, depending on the child’s needs.
Written By - Ms. NEENU NASNIN KT - Consultant psychologist (Mindmaris Counsellors India Pvt)
